"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

- Albert Schweitzer

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Well, I have been sick for almost a week and have completely run out of things to do except think. Which even thinking is a little fuzzy. I decided to try to work on my blog and came across this quote and started thinking. What brings me happiness and what might I be successful at. I am personally stuck and at a crossroads only the roads span in every direction. My finances are somewhat stable though not where I want them, I can't decide on a career and am currently trying to get into Grad school more in the hope of it giving me some direction than education. So, what does one do when they aren't sure what to do? For my life I really have two main goals, one to be a mom, and secondly to help the world. Aside from that the rest is just details. So here I am stuck, trying to figure out what to do in the interim. I have been trying to get a new job for the past 6 months but nothing seems to really be opening in that direction. You know, I need to help someone right now but I am not sure who or how and until I figure that out. I think I'm stuck here, just a little frustrated. :( Hmmm... maybe there is another door around the corner I just haven't found to open yet. Wish me luck :)

Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.

Psalm 25:4

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The important thing is not to think much but to love much; and so do that which best stirs you to love.

- St. Teresa of Avila

Well, I went and saw The Ugly Truth today at the theaters. It was interesting.... I'm currently in the process of finalizing my divorce and so love, relationships and dating are all touchy subjects for me. I got married at eighteen during my second year of college and am now twenty-four and terrified, I suppose. I don't know how to date, and I'm not entirely convinced I want to but I do want love and a family. What scares me the most is when I watch "movies" the women, and perhaps the men, seem to be playing games. They don't seem to be real or themselves. Their decisions are based on another's response versus who they are and that scares me. What is it like dating as an adult? How do you date as an adult? These questions go round and round in my poor head. I wish I could leave it as movie dramatization but then I see how my roommate's friends are and the questions they ask each other about what to say and the "games" don't seem so far fetched. Thankfully or sadly, I don't think very highly of them so I will not be following in their footsteps but that doesn't exactly calm my mind. I guess that leaves me with this quote, I need to focus less on being loved and more on loving others. The rest will work itself out. :)

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Stubborn vs. Steadfast

Don't copy the behavior and customs

of this world, but let God transform

you into a new person by changing the

way you think. Then you will learn to

know God's will for you, which is

good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2

I had an epiphany the other day. I came to the realization that stubborn and steadfast are about the same thing just used in different context. A couple weeks ago I was listening to the radio and the lady was talking about her two year old who was acting stubborn. Apparently, the little girl hit her grandma and didn't want to say sorry. She was talking about how hard it was for her to get the girl to say sorry and how they prayed together until finally the girl came around. She was also commenting on how her daughter gets her stubbornness from her. This got me thinking.

While I was married to my husband, he used to call me stubborn. His parents would "bug" me about learning Spanish (his family was from Puerto Rico) and I was resistant (to say the least). I didn't care for the idea of someone telling me to learn something because they thought I should. I would learn when and if I wanted to, on my own time. Either way, he used to tell me I was stubborn.

Growing up I've always felt separate or different from many of my peers. I was never one to follow along with being boy crazy, into drinking or partying. And I'm still not. I have my standards (or values) and I choose to keep to them. This is what lead me to comparing my stubbornness with steadfastness. What I came to realize was the same force keeping me from "learning Spanish" was the same force that keeps me from compromising my values. Call it stubbornness or steadfastness, for me they are the same. They both represent my unwillingness to change to please other people and a firmness about who I am and try to be. I will most certainly fail on occasion but I will keep persevering until I am who I am.

I wish I could have realized this earlier while I was listening to the radio show. The strength of will her daughter was showing was really a blessing. What she needed to learn was how to help her daughter choose when her stubbornness was appropriate and when she need to give in and say sorry.

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My token to Iran and their current turmoil... I wish them the best

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.

- Ghandi

I have been watching and keeping up to date with what is going on in Iran. I can't be there but know you are in my heart and I will pray for your safety while you fight.

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Choices

"...every individual has 2 choices

1. Wait and hope that something or someone will provide the motivation needed to act, or


2. Take control of your own dream and work to see it through."

-from The Disney Way pg. XIII

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"When values are clear, decisions are easy"

Roy Disney in The Disney Way pg. 37

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